The Wizard of Oz

The Wizard of Oz (1939)

I hate this movie. I hated it the first time I watched it before I ever even read the book, and I almost exploded when I finally DID read the book and discovered what butchery had been done upon such a genius work of literature.

The best way I can think of to describe this movie (even though even I have to admit that I enjoy the songs to no end) is the following:

Take the shell of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by Frank L. Baum, rape it with a machete, then stretch it thin and twist it around an amalgamation of child molestation, abuse, suicide, drugs, alcoholism, and general debauchery and dysfunction and then tie it up with an emerald and ruby ribbon with a big fat bloody bow on top. THAT is what I think of this heinous film.

But the songs are fun.

Return to Oz

 Return to Oz (1985)

Placing aside my unending hatred of The Wizard of Oz for just a second, this movie is actually really good. It was surprising to me, let me tell you, but it’s well executed, the acting is right on par, and the story while really rather dark at times is well written and takes the right cues from the book its (loosely, but not as loosely as the original movie – bleh!) based on.

It incorporates my favorite parts from The Marvelous Land of Oz – Tock the royal army of Oz, Jack Pumpkin head, and the flying Gump – and adds original touches to tie it back to the original film (Dorothy having trouble re-assimilating to life in the “real world” after her adventures in Oz) without kowtowing to the really bat-shit loco crap the movie made up.

And as an added bonus the film includes the unmistakable work of Jim Henson and his ever-lovable animatronics. Now, I do have an undeniable weakness for animatronics, but you just can’t go wrong with the work of Jim Henson.

Tin Man

Tin Man (2007)

One word: Steampunkalicious. For those you are unfamiliar with the fashion/lifestyle phenomenon of Steampunk, please check out the wiki here and these other great resources.

The steampunk overtones of Tin Man are slight, but definite and well executed to boot. The subtlety of costumes and the unspoken idea of technology provide a really intriguing and different fantasy world in which the story takes place.

To be perfectly up-front, it won’t really make any sense unless you already know something about “The Wizard of Oz” (like, the fact that it exists, the main character’s name is Dorothy Gale, she has a dog named Toto, she travels through the magical world of Oz with a scarecrow, a man made out of tin, and a lion, and that there are wizards and wicked witches waylaying her at every step), and it adds a lot of nuisance if you’ve read the book and not just watched the movie.

However, regardless of your prior knowledge of the mythos of Oz – or lack thereof – this is a really great miniseries that I would recommend to just about anyone. The acting, while perhaps not Oscar worthy, is solid and the story is well thought out and well executed and the actors are top notch. I know not everyone loves Zooey Deschanel, but you CANNOT not adore Alan Cummings, and Richard Dreyfuss is the perfect cherry on top.

All in all this is a great experience and a fantastic addition to the legacy of Oz.

P.S. No dancing here, but there is an enchanting and haunting children’s rhyme which will get stuck in your head.

Footloose

Footloose (1984)

You really cannot go wrong with big over curled eighties hair, shoulder pads, a lack of bra-age, Kevin Bacon, and rocking tunes. You really can't.

Footloose, for those few left you haven't seen if (you're lives are sorely lacking, let me tell you) embodies the love of dancing that many movies seek to have but fall short of. If you want a movie to make you feel good, that has good music, and quotes the Bible, this is the correct choice.

P.S. Kevin Bacon and a very young Sarah Jessica Parker.